White coat. Heels.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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