what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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