I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
