He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Boobs are out for the taking
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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