Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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