He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
