Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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