seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
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Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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