You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
