Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think your dad took our porno
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
