I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
