i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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