butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
