I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
