chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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