forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize