Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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