I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
