we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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