I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize