Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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