Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
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Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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