just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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