Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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