It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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