if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm too high and old for this...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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