I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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