Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
