I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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