I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
