mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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