Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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