Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
