if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
