So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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