It's like God shit irony all over that family
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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