Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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