just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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