too bad you live with your parents still
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
