Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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