help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
