I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
