we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
