Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
