I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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