you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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