I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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