so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think your dad took our porno
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
