Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
