I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
