wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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