At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize