But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
