I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
