I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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