I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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