Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
