jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They took my balls.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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