shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
