Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just invented taco cereal.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize