You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
