He is an equal opportunity slut.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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