god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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