so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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