Plan B is the new Plan A
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
