need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
