Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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