You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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