HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
